How are you, k-dreamers? I genuinely want to know. We feel obligated to say “I’m fine” when we’re really not. Maybe we don’t want people to know, or maybe we don’t know how to explain our emotions. So we just pretend we’re fine. I’m guilty of this almost every day. Chung Ha just released the song “Killing Me,” a song that I’m sure many of us can relate to if you have ever gone through the scenario I just described. Let’s dive into the lyrics of this beautiful song, shall we?
The lyrics are pure emotion.
There’s something about this song that’s not rooted in reality. When I analyzed the lyrics in “Insomnia” by Penomeco, I noticed that Penomeco described loneliness through the senses. He goes about his daily activities, but things aren’t the same. In “Killing Me,” Chung Ha talks about how life feels in general.
It’s killing me, killing me
Every day is a long tunnel
I am yet again tired of its endless darkness
It’s killing me, killing me
Killing me, uh, oh, oh, oh
I’m at the end of a vague memory that seems to havе been lost (I miss you)
It’s killing me, killing me
Let go of mе now, baby
Life continues to go on, but she has changed. Chung Ha falls apart even though she looks fine on the outside. And maybe if you asked her what the problem is, she wouldn’t be able to tell you. All she knows is that she feels the “darkness” and she wants it to go away. People who struggle with depression probably know what it’s like to be sad for no apparent reason. Even worse is when you remember what it’s like to be happy but you can’t find your way back to that feeling.
Chung Ha longs for an imaginary future.
This was the part of the song that struck a chord with me:
Miss the future so bad
I wish that we could go back (We can go back)
Obviously you can’t miss something that hasn’t already happened. It’s not so much “missing” but “mourning” the future you had always dreamed of. It could range from the plans you had before the pandemic to the life you had envisioned with a partner. For me, my future is more of a feeling. I’ve had a lot of thoughts on my mind lately. Some of them not too healthy. I know that it’s mostly due to stress, so I look forward to finishing up the semester and taking care of myself. I’m sure most of us want to “be free” like Chung Ha says in “Killing Me.” I hope we can get some peace soon. In the meantime, if it feels like everything is killing you, remember to be kind to yourself.
Honourable Mentions: Gaho – Part Time Lover, Ahn Ye Eun – The Word, LUNA – Love Paranoia, Everglow – Pirate, IVE – Eleven (Add “Shiver me timbers!” to the list of things I thought I’d never hear in a kpop song!)
If you like this song, check out: Samuel ft. Jung Ilhoon – One (2018), TWICE – Feel Special (2019), GreatGuys – Run (2020)
I know I mainly talked about the lyrics, but I also love the meter of the song, especially during the line “It’s killing me, killing me, killing me, uh, oh, oh, oh.” What are your thoughts on Chung Ha’s new song? Let me know in the comments!