Uh… hi? Is anyone still following this blog? Perhaps you read on my Instagram feed that I stopped updating this blog due to me prioritizing my studies. Now that I have completed my final exams (and took a weekend to relax), I’m gonna talk about what I did this semester. I wanted to make comments while I was actually taking my classes but I overestimated my time management skills. Also, I bet you’re curious as to whether I made that music portfolio. I… sort of did? Let me explain.
I filled my semester with music and poetry.
This semester, I took a class on sound and finally learned some useful skills and terms. I used to look at terms like “gain” and “EQ” and feel stupid because I didn’t understand how they worked. Now I know how to use a low pass filter and control the gain of a recording. I feel a little smarter.
The poetry course wasn’t what I expected, and I mean this in the best way. We basically learned to identify meters and verse forms. Of course, we were also expected to write poetry (no free verse though). It turns out that there are a lot of rules you need to follow to write good metrical poetry and every stressed or unstressed syllable means something. Ultimately, taking this course made me feel less nervous about songwriting.
About that music portfolio…
It’s been a month since I submitted my music portfolio. Honestly, I’m not surprised that they rejected my application to the School of Contemporary Arts. I became too swamped from my studies and I even burned myself out at one point. So what did I do? I submitted some old music assignments as my portfolio. It was better than nothing I guess. They are available to listen to on my YouTube channel if you’re curious (you can also click on the button in the top right menu). I also gave them the link to this blog hoping that would make me more memorable. I wonder if they are reading this…
In the end, it’s probably for the best. I should get better and more confident at making music before applying again. But I just can’t help but feel like I’ll never become good enough to get in. Right now, I’m at an awkward point in my journey to becoming a composer. I’m learning how to use Audacity, listening to music and interviews with producers, but I can’t bring myself to practice the stuff I’m learning about. At this rate, I won’t get any better at composing.
How’s my future looking?
I’m trying not to lose hope. The reason I’m rushing myself to be good is because of my age relative to my talented peers. I’m only hurting my self-esteem by expecting results so early in my learning process. As long as I put in the work, I’ll get closer to my dream of becoming a composer.
I’ll place it
– Sejeong, Plant
Where the stars fall asleep and look at it every day
If I do my best to care for it
I think it’ll listen to me some day
Video belongs to Jellyfish Entertainment.